Monday, December 7, 2009


At this point in their Season the Redskins are now a pitiful 3-9. Yet this season has been marked by the what ifs and the most aggravating losses I have ever seen. Im going to break down the season in my own mind and make myself feel worse, if not for some scientific purpose then for the mere fact that I am really really bored.

Week 1 - Redskins Open the Season at the Giants for the second straight year. This is annoying, we don't play them well and seem to have a mental block against them. The offense plays like crap, the Defense hasn't learned that Sacking a QB is a positive thing. Skins lose a bad game to fall 0-1. Not the end of the world, but they need to build on this for the next few weeks as they face a bunch of losers.

Week 2 - Home Opener against the Rams. Redskins don't find the Endzone and the offense sputters so badly in the redzone that we almost give this one away. But a W is a W at the end of the day Redskins even out at 1-1

Week 3 - Disaster mode begins early this year. The redskins get beat by a team who hasn't won a game in over a year. Campbell plays well but the Run game is no where to be seen. The first two starts of his career Stafford opponents blitz and confuse him. The Redskins decide to give him time to work with a bland and easy Defense. The Redskins gift the Lions a win to fall to 1-2. So begins the Death Spiral. Had the Defense played to its potential the Redskins would have won this game easily and been 2-1.

Week 4 - Home again with the lowly Bucs. The redskins are playing the bottom feeders this year. With the running game pushing itself upright for a single week the redskins squeak out a win against a team they should have no trouble with. easy win made difficult. 2-2 (should be 3-1)

Week 5 - The spiral continues. The redskins play tough hard football and take the lead over a team they are most likely even with in terms of skill and leadership. Then in the most interesting call of the game, Byron Westbrook is hurled into Randal El on a punt in the 4th quarter causing the fair catch to bounce off him. the Panthers Recover and the ball is awarded to them for this. Then in true redskins fashion the defense takes a nap and lets Johnathan Stewart run for a game winning TD. Redskins fall to 2-3 (should be 4-1)

Week 6 - Jim Zorn felt benching Campbell at half time would help spark his team from his anemic play. Instead he sent in the perennial bench warmer Todd Colins to complete 1 pass and threw the game away. This was a turning point for the redskins. When Zorn was relieved of his ability to call plays in favor of Bingo Mastermind Sherm Lewis. Redskins lose another easy game. 2-4 (should be 5-1)

Week 7 - Redskins don't understand the concept of the speed player or a double move. D-Jackson runs rampant. The offense puts up its customary 17 points and goes home to cry. Changes are made, but no effect yet. 2-5 (should be 5-2)

BYE Week - Redskins stick to the plan with the Bingo Mastermind unaware of the spark of life this team will soon receive.

Week 9 - Going into Atlanta the season was all but mathematically over. In the first half Michael Turner decided it would be fun to fun all over this apparently talented Redskins Defense. But something happened in the second half. The offense started to click. The line decided to no longer be a revolving door of failure. Portis decided that running the ball was no longer something he wanted to do. And success came. A victory did not, but the change was lasting, and sparked this team into action. 2-6 (should be 5-3)

Week 9 - Redemption came in the form of a victory! Breaking the barrier of the evil number 17 the redskins outscored outplayed and out everything the Denver Broncos. Bingo Mastermind Sherm Smith was no longer the butt of a bunch of Bingo Jokes, he was recognized as the Man who allowed the skins to score points. Life was returned to the Washington Hopeful as they saw that not only were the redskins mathematically back in it, they were spiritually back in it. 3-6 (should be 6-3)

Week 10 - Back on track the Redskins dominate the cowboys for 57 mins. Better on D better of O, but a severe lack of scoring cost them. With only a 6-0 lead Dallas lead a comeback drive the redskins could not match. A heart breaker for the Skins who seem to invent ways to lose. A game they should have won, but in the NFL there aren't should have wins. 3-7 (should be 7-3)

Week 11 - Once again the Redskins are poised for success creating a large 4th quarter lead, but once again they invent a way to lose a game. Instead of a game sealing TD the redskins settle for a field goal. a decision that costs them as Philly rushes down field scores, converts a 2 point conversion to tie it and later kicks a field goal to win the game. Once again the redskins outplay their opponent and lose. a disturbing trend, but something to build on. 3-8 (should be 8-3)

Week 12 - Against the most talented offense since the 99 rams, the greatest show on turf was grinded to a screeching halt by this Washington D. Until the saints learned that redskins still haven't learned what a double move is. also that LaRon Landry is actually a Strong Safety being disguised as a free safety. Still the Redskins outplay, outheart, and outman the saints for 57 mins. Then with the clock running low, the saints out of time outs Suisham pulls his most unclutchness out from the depths of his ass and pootches a 23 yard field goal. 23 yarders are gimmees. screw everthing you hear about how the NFL is hard and anything you do is hard etc etc etc thats fucking loser talk. Suisham is a fucking loser and thats why when the skins need him. when they could be winning games off his leg he chokes and shits all over everything. FIRE HIS ASS and get a kicker who understands the whole between the uprights aspect of kicking. Suisham you are officially a shit stain. 2-9 (should be 9-3)

Coulda woulda shoulda, about describes this season for the skins. With Oakland next and then a game against the cowboys who believe winning in december is for sissies the skins could be 11-5 this year and a lock for a playoff spot. Instead they found ways to suck the wins away and wallow the postseason away at home. Many things can be taken from this season so far.

1. The redskins are close to being a good, team. In fact I would say we are the best bad team in the NFL.

2. We play to our competition.

3. The skins might not need to look outside the franchise for the next head coach. clearly Zorn is a tool and has to go, but why not make Bingo Mastermind or Danny Smith the next HC? what have we got to lose? its almost working, let it ferment for one off season and then bring the boys back for one more go.

Watch out for Dan Snyder, he's a dick!

Finally HAIL TO THE REDSKINS! we may not make the playoffs this year, and next year might be all false hope and rampant disappointment, but this team has a lot of heart and a fan base that loves it. Go Skins!

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